Saying goodbye is hard..

My aunt, also known as mummyben passed away on the 24th November 2010 after her long battle with cancer. Before she was admitted to the hospital, she lived with us for a week. We were so sad to see her condition and did everything we could to help her. Now, whenever I see the stairs, I can still remember her son and my mum had to carry her up and down. She was so determined to get well, she walked around the house to exercise.

When she was at the hospital, my family and I who lives 2 hours drive away, managed to come and see her at least once a week. On Sunday morning, she weakly waved goodbye at me when I said my goodbye "bye mummyben, see you later". Sadly to say.. that was our last visit before she passed. On wednesday night, somewhere before 3am, I heard her voice calling my name, and could not sleep well after that. I know it was her cos she's my only aunt that calls me farrah.

At 3.04am, she was gone. My cousins and aunts were by her side. Mum told us at 3.30am. We left as early as 4.45am and arrived at the same time her coffin reached her house in Keningau. None of us were crying when we were on the way. When they carried her in the house, theres where all of us cried our heart out, seeing her laying peacefully in the coffin, breaks my heart.

The day she was brought to the church was the hardest part cos she won't be at her house anymore. Watching her tribute video was really overwhelming. I was surprised to see my mum and my aunts were so calm. The ceremony was lovely, and it was time for everyone to give her their last respect. Close families were given red/white roses. As I stand beside her coffin, I gave a kiss on my rose, placed it on her hand and hoped that she got my kiss. I tried not to cry infront of her, but when I hugged my aunt, she said to me "Ruth, mummyben is gone.. All we have now is her funny stories and memories, so don't be sad". I could barely hold my tears and cried on her shoulder.

By the time we got to the cemetary, reality kicked in. All of us stopped crying. We know that she has a new home now..

Mami ben,
You don't have to worry anymore. You are now in a better place. I won't forget our sweet memories together. You were like a mom to us. We will always love and miss you, remember that. Rest In Peace..

Love,
farrah